


Every Villain Is Lemons

by Heavens_Door



Category: Boku no Hero Academia
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-13
Updated: 2016-10-13
Packaged: 2018-08-20 09:13:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,032
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8244041
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Heavens_Door/pseuds/Heavens_Door
Summary: With every member of the Villain League out of town or impossible to work with, Shirakagi Tomura is forced to perform an important task with the only other reliable person in the league.
Too bad it's Toga.





	

Shigaraki Tomura, Leader of the League of Villains, Heir to the greatest evil the world had ever known, was annoyed.

 

He and his cohorts were hiding in some small town out in the boonies, where the number of pro-heroes could be counted in one hand. It was a necessary measure, while the League recuperated and rebuilt. Losing Sensei was a grievous loss, so for now they had to lick their wounds.

As a result, you could say that they were rather understaffed. Kurogiri was away scouting for new recruits, as was that patch-faced freak Dabi. That was surprising to Tomura, since he'd never had a high opinion of the man. Granted he felt nothing but contempt and disgust for everyone who wasn't Sensei, but the point stands. As for the rest, Tomura couldn't even muster the energy to even ponder if they were worth anything.

Because of this, Tomura had to do everything in their little hideout. Normally he'd let Kurogiri do all the unimportant work, but with him away and everyone else either incompetent, insane or both he was forced to perform a simple task all by his lonesome.

"Doo doo doo doo doo, another one bites the dust~"

Or so he had hoped.

"Doo doo doo doo doo, another one bites the dust! And another one gone, and another one gone~"

"Would you keep it down" He snapped.

Toga Himiko, murderous teenage girl stuck her tongue out. She pulled her earphones off her ears and removed it from the phone, putting the volume on maximum.

"Oh come on, Mister Handsy, what's the matter?" She asked, a skip to her step. "Don't like the classics?"

Tomura pulled his hood down. "Not if it's off-tune."

She stuck her tongue out again. "Spoilsport."

It wasn't a very big town, so there weren't a lot of places to eat, at least ones he liked. There was a fast food joint nearby, so that'll have to do. It was one of the big fast food chains, the ones sold mediocre stuff in large amounts. Tomura wasn't a picky person, so if those idiots at the hideout had a problem with cheap burgers then they could talk to the hand.

Tomura scratched his neck. If he'd said that out loud right now Toga would never let her hear the end of it. They stepped into the restaurant, where they hear were greated by a familiar-looking mascot.

_HAVE NO FEAR! WHY?_

"I am here!" Toga finished, pumping her fist in the air.

"Godamn it."

He shouldn't have been surprised. Even after that wretched hypocrite was revealed for who he really was, a weak, powerless fool of a man, the people loved him. It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair at all. All Might should be dead. Against Sensei's might he should've died, that should've been the end of him. Yet somehow, _somehow_ , the bastard was still alive, alive and beloved, while Sensei was thrown into some distant prison and left to rot. It wasn't fair.

One day, soon, he'll finish him off. But that day wasn't today. Today, he had something far more insignificant to do.

"Good afternoon sir!" Greeted the server, a short woman with dyed red hair and three eyes. Her uniform included a hat designed to resemble All Might's hair.

God, he hated having to lay low.

"May I take your order?"

"Two Mighty Family Meals to go."

"All Right, All Might!" The woman at the counter flexed her shoulders. God, at least pretend you don't enjoy this bullshit.

"And one diet Mighty Meal, please!" Toga pointed to the menu.

"With the toy?" The server took from under the counter a plastic figure, one of All Might in his true, pathetic form. She flipped a switch on its back, causing the toy to say,

_HAVE NO FEAR! WHY?_

"I AM HERE!" Everyone in-line cheered.

Everyone not Shigaraki Tomura, at least.

_Fucking Conformists_ , he thought. Out loud he said, "Yay, he's here."

"Okay! Will there be anything else?"

"Hey, Handsy, Burny just texted me. Said he wanted the Vermont Crush Milkshake."

Burny? Did she mean Dabi? _Well that patched-up asshole can go fuck himself,_ was what he wanted to say. But he didn't want to be held up by the inevitable argument he and Toga would have, so Tomura acquiesced. "Sure."

They left the restaurant soon after, with Tomura having paid for everything, even the toy. That ugly, hideous microcosm of everything wrong with society. What kind of hero allows his image to be milked dry like that, and still claim to have any integrity? Disgusting.

"Fuck Heroes. Fuck Capitalism." Tomura grumbled once they approached the hideout.

 "Oh, don't be such a buzzkill." Toga chided. Unlike Tomura, whose hands were full, Toga only carried one plastic bag of food. In her other hand was her phone. "Hey, if it makes you feel better, look at this photo!"

He did. It was a picture of Izuku Midoriya, in a state of shall we say, dishabille. 

"Why." Tomura scratched his neck. "Would I want to look at that?"

"Can't you imagine it, Handsy?" Toga began. "Izuku-chan sprawled on the floor, shirt off, arms bound, dozens of adorable cuts and bruises decorating his body? Izuku-chan moaning, begging me to stop as I start sharpening the good knives?"

"No." What the _fuck_. He hated that boy, hated how he represented everything All Might stood up for, but what Toga wanted to do was too much even for him. "Where did you even get that picture?"

Toga shrugged. "Internet."

And that was the end of that conversation. The two villains went inside their hideout, where Toga fawned over probably more pictures of Midoriya. Tomura meawhile went into his corner of the place and ate in silence.

"Stupid kid." He mumbled between bites. "I'm the one who'll kill Midoriya, not you."

As soon as he said that Tomura heard a cracking noise. He popped his head out the corridor to find Toga sitting on her knees, vigorously stabbing her phone with what can only be described as orgasmic bliss.

_On second thought, maybe I'll give the girl a crack at Midoriya,_ he thought. At least, that'd be a fun spectacle to watch.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I had way too much fun writing Toga here, though I'm afraid I may have turned Tomura into too much of a straight man given his idiosyncrasies. I've been reading Boku no Hero Academia since it started, and like all good superhero comics I really like its villains. Hopefully I wasn't too OOC with them in this story.
> 
> EDIT: Fixed some grammar problems I noticed.


End file.
